untitled updateish

Current Mood/Status: dejected by boredom and worry (*dejected!* "augh, my wrists!")
Currently Doing: stuff that i've been neglecting
Song of the Day: Bastard, Ben Folds

the album from which ^ that song comes is the first that i've bought this summer, unless i'm mistaken. i've..."acquired" a good many otherwise (actually counting now, i apologize to all those people that i misled; the number is no less than 36), but i decided that ben folds is one of the artists that i respect enough to dish out some cash for an album. that list, though, isn't terribly long; of course, incubus sits up there, too, the arcade fire, eve 6 (though i haven't actually started on that yet), and...no doubt there exist a few more. not bands that i just think are amazing, unbelievably cool, or whatever, but bands that make good music *and* i respect, for various reasons. meh. (and, mostly, aren't in it for profit, to my knowledge.)

anyways, i found this article this morning, when, for the first time in a few days (well..actually, i suppose it was early this afternoon), i decided to get back to my computing, having been largely idle on that front for a bit. i've been occasionally...preoccupied, but more, it's what the article is talking about: burn-out. ish, anyways. and that's one of the things of which i'm really afraid: burning out. not so much technology-wise, or in athletics, but in academics (of course.). i'm pushing so hard these high school years, so...college? who knows? =P. but don't worry, i'm not emo! look, a quote from the article!

But how many couples confuse technology burnout with relationship burnout? You start projecting the anti-IM sentiment onto the person on the other end of the dialog. Or you resent the friend calling you when you suddenly can't stand the sound of the polyphonic ring tone you paid $2 for.

Maybe you're not tired of the other person, you're just tired of the computer, or the webcam, or the teledildonics, or the headset you use with your Skype account. Or all of the above.

Modern technology makes long-distance relationships viable in ways previous generations can only envy. And yet having the ability to communicate constantly leads to the expectation of constant communication.

well...for me, it's between friends, but i've definitely felt that way towards people on occasion (usually with email when i've other stuff on my mind or while im-ing when my attention is otherwise occupied), and i feel kinda bad about it, but i can't concentrate. to anybody who's noticed that, i apologize, but just know that it's not you, it's...stuff on my mind, usually. huh...i suppose it's the same thing with homework, though, but i'm just better at realizing how important that is and better able to draw together my focus to get that done. not necessarily well, and by no means efficiently, but done, nonetheless.

...spent all of yesterday (excluding time spent at mark's watching the stormish thing and playing a bit of ddr and time spent at lan) going through college stuff. started organizing information on schools to which i'll actually apply and that i'll really want to go. uhh...got through gathering appropriate information for approximately one, two thirds, and one sixth schools. well...maybe that'll go a little faster in the future. not likely, though.

let's see...anything else about which i feel like posting? sure, why don't i actually talk about lan a bit? going through the many, many admin commands last night, i discovered a certain "realmod." you know, in which, if you take damage from a grenade, you catch fire, if you get hurt, you bleed slowly and whatever limb was hurt works less well, and if you get knifed, you bleed quickly and die even faster. so...we definitely turned it on and went around doing all kinds of crazy stuff last night--stuff like a map by the name of he_nadefun, in which the map is a single, large, square room with a glass wall in the middle and very many grenades lying around on the ground for the purpose of picking up and lobbing at the other side...it was impossible not to catch fire in the first ten seconds of each...say...twenty-five second round. that was definitely amazing. i think i made it to 37 kills before dying, and i was really happy about that (the deaths were from attacking teammates, which slays oneself automatically). meh. and so, of course, in normal maps, if you suspect somebody to be hiding somewhere, you may simply toss a grenade nearby, and if you hear the sound of burning players, then you know that you're on to something and can run away and let that person burn. or, i suppose, actually attack, but where's the fun in that?

'kay. fell asleep listening to "Songs for Silverman" last night, but woke up part of the way through the night when "Give Judy My Notice" started up, so i turned it off. well...part of it was discomfort (and by "part," i mean "mostly."), but i wholly agree with betsy on the fact: the man killed the song with a country intro! and it's awful! the entire album, though, and, more than any other song, "Jesusland," strongly remind me of some time when she and i were driving at night, on a highway back from something or other towards the beginning of the summer, probably the first time that i listened to the entire album, and it played through several times on our way there and back. that is, new, one of the best deserved spots on my "nostalgic" playlist, for whatever it's worth.

oh, and that screenshot with all those tabs about ultimate open that i posted on friday? well, those were the remnants of my thursday browsing (two am time stamp, right?), and one of the most important things that i learned about ultimate that day was that if Google is god, then ultimate is jesus, because sitting there learning more about it and the community, i definitely found myself in a much better mood than earlier. it gives me love! ;D